On Trash Watch I usually cover the trashiest of the trashiest celebrities. It’s a fun gig and it’s always enjoyable to mock Bella Thorne’s latest puffy nip slip, Kylie Jenner’s latest garbage product or the very lost Ariel Winter’s latest desperate attempt for attention, but I never feel as I truly scratch the surface of the disgusting people living in Hollywood.
So, I thought I would change all of that and recognise the truly worst celebrities of 2017… so far.
3. Kathy Griffin
Imagine fucking up so badly in your attack against President Trump that your best friend Anderson Cooper, half of Tumblr and even Chelsea fuckin’ Clinton slam you for your lack of taste. Well, that’s the world hacky comedian and plastic surgery warning Kathy Griffin is living in since releasing a video and a picture of herself holding the severed head of the President of the United States.
This is the same woman – I kid you not – that once criticised Elisabeth Hasselbeck for not ‘respecting the office of the President.’
I hear Kathy Griffitnis now working on a book: ‘How To Fuck Up Your Irrelevant Career’
2. Gwyneth Paltrow
Goop is a pretentious asshole. We know this. We accept this. Some of us even like this. HOWEVER, Goop and her stupid newsletter / website thing crossed line this year by outright lying to its consumers to the point NASA, of all people, had to step in and say, ‘Cut the bullshit.’
That’s not all that’s landed Goop on the list, though. Her consistently bad health tips that anyone with a brain would brand retarded continue to clog the internet and mislead her clearly mentally vulnerable audience. Throwing a glitter bomb in the vagina? Inserting jade eggs in the vagina? Steaming your vagina like it’s broccoli?
By the way, is anyone else getting the vibe Goop has a fixation with the vagina?
- Amber Heard
Was there ever any doubt? The opportunistic Amber Heard’s divorce to Johnny Depp was finalised this year after a tempestuous marriage that saw her profile significantly raised, her career skyrocket and her pockets, of course, impressively lined.
As soon as Heard filed for divorce from Depp, the trashy trash went to war with the actor in the tabloids, leaking information, accusations and pictures that damaged Depp’s career and changed the way many of us look at the once endearingly disgusting movie star.
If all of that wasn’t bad enough, Amber almost immediately wrangled another highly successful man in billionaire Elon Musk. I imagine she’s sucking the life force out of him already.