On Trash Watch I usually cover the trashiest of the trashiest celebrities. It’s a fun gig and it’s always enjoyable to mock Bella Thorne’s latest puffy nip slip, Kylie Jenner’s latest garbage product or the very lost Ariel Winter’s latest desperate attempt for attention, but I never feel as I truly scratch the surface of the disgusting people living in Hollywood.
So, I thought I would change all of that and recognise the truly worst celebrities of 2017… so far.
3. Kathy Griffin
Imagine fucking up so badly in your attack against President Trump that your best friend Anderson Cooper, half of Tumblr and even Chelsea fuckin’ Clinton slam you for your lack of taste. Well, that’s the world hacky comedian and plastic surgery warning Kathy Griffin is living in since releasing a video and a picture of herself holding the severed head of the President of the United States.
This is the same woman – I kid you not – that once criticised Elisabeth Hasselbeck for not ‘respecting the office of the President.’
I hear Kathy Griffitnis now working on a book: ‘How To Fuck Up Your Irrelevant Career’
2. Gwyneth Paltrow
Goop is a pretentious asshole. We know this. We accept this. Some of us even like this. HOWEVER, Goop and her stupid newsletter / website thing crossed line this year by outright lying to its consumers to the point NASA, of all people, had to step in and say, ‘Cut the bullshit.’
That’s not all that’s landed Goop on the list, though. Her consistently bad health tips that anyone with a brain would brand retarded continue to clog the internet and mislead her clearly mentally vulnerable audience. Throwing a glitter bomb in the vagina? Inserting jade eggs in the vagina? Steaming your vagina like it’s broccoli?
By the way, is anyone else getting the vibe Goop has a fixation with the vagina?
- Amber Heard
Was there ever any doubt? The opportunistic Amber Heard’s divorce to Johnny Depp was finalised this year after a tempestuous marriage that saw her profile significantly raised, her career skyrocket and her pockets, of course, impressively lined.
As soon as Heard filed for divorce from Depp, the trashy trash went to war with the actor in the tabloids, leaking information, accusations and pictures that damaged Depp’s career and changed the way many of us look at the once endearingly disgusting movie star.
If all of that wasn’t bad enough, Amber almost immediately wrangled another highly successful man in billionaire Elon Musk. I imagine she’s sucking the life force out of him already.
Just when I was starting to forget all about Kathy Griffin LOL
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That red bitch should have won and she should be in jail
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Her career is over. That’s worse than any prison in her mind.
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It condemns her to spend more time with herself. A punishment harsher than any judge’s sentencing, dear!
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I think she should be arrested for that hideous blouse.
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Ironically these three are my nightmare dinner party guests.
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That has to be the most annoying conversation ever. Kathy with her bad jokes, Goop with her stupid ideas and Amber talking about her latest catch. Sex and the City for sadists.
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Amber Heard might have got away with millions and a few movies in the can, but we all know exactly what she is now.
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A dirty old slag!
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Not so sure about the old, but more or less!!
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How surprising. All women. The Gossip Life’s misogyny shows once again.
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Cara Delvigne should be on the list for that haircut.
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Disappointed Michael Bay didn’t win for the latest Transformers.
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We still have a lot of 2017 to go…..
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Goop deserves number one for being a new age conwoman.
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If you’re dumb enough to fall for that shit, you deserve to be ripped off.
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Finally, dears, I fall off of these annual and biannual lists! The public have finally forgiven me for endorsing David Cameron!
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No we bloody haven’t!!
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I imagine the employees of NASA collectively cheering right now.
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The more I think of that the more I realize that was a hell of a big deal for them to come out and slam her product like that.
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It shows how astounding the level of ignorance (and false advertising) must be.
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Kathy Griffin can fuck off and stay fucked off.
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On a personal level Amber Heard definitely is the most despicable out of all of them, but I would Kathy Griffin higher because of the political repercussions…
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I totally agree. Kathy makes me ashamed to be liberal. People think we all act like that
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Two bloody idiots. Which one’s worse? Hard to tell.
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There are legitimate ways to criticise Trump. Pretending to hold his severed head is not one of them.
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