It’s unfortunately that time of year again, Gossipers. The time of year where the Daily Mail posts eighty articles a minute and we all have to pretend we care and tweet about it.
I of course talk about fashion’s lamest day, the Met Ball, which, organised by the scary-looking Anna Wintour from Vogue, held its annual fundraising gala and went for the oddly-picked blasphemous theme of Catholicism.
While the vast majority of B and C listers in attendance interpreted the theme loosely and only went as far as choosing dresses sporting cardinal reds or virginal whites, Rihanna went hard, dressing in a slutty Papal outfit and looking like a freakish creature from a futuristic dystopia imagined by the The Wachowskis and realised into another bomb movie.
I am a big fan of Rihanna and rate her as one of the top artists around, but I’ve never found her to be particular inspired when it comes to style and yesterday I was proven right once again.
It still wasn’t as bad as Madonna that one year…
BUT we’re still putting you on trash watch, R.
February 20th is the 51st day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. There are 314 days remaining until the end of the year (315 in leap years). This date is slightly more likely to fall on a Monday, Wednesday or Saturday (58 in 400 years each) than on Thursday or Friday (57), and slightly less likely to occur on a Tuesday or Sunday (56).
1547 – Edward VI of England is crowned King of England at Westminster Abbey.
1872 – The Metropolitan Museum of Art opens in New York City.
1933 – Adolf Hitler secretly meets with German industrialists to arrange for financing of the Nazi Party’s upcoming election campaign.
1962 – While aboard Friendship 7, John Glenn becomes the first American to orbit the earth, making three orbits in four hours, 55 minutes.
2003 – During a Great White concert in West Warwick, Rhode Island, a pyrotechnics display sets the Station nightclub ablaze, killing 100 and injuring over 200 others.
Singer Rihanna turns 30
Supermodel Cindy Crawford turns 52
Actor Sidney Poitier turns 91
Comedian Trevor Noah turns 34
Businesswoman Ivana Trump turns 69
Actor Miles Teller turns 31
Rihanna has piled of the pounds recently, but if you think that’s forcing the R&B legend to cover on up, then you obviously don’t know the Rated R songstress very well.
The singer-turned-actress, 29 attended the Crop Over festival in Barbados and almost caused social media to collapse according to the BBC with her revealing jewel-encrusted costume with green and pink feathers, as well as garish blue hair.
Crop Over is a traditional harvest festival that allegedly attracts nontraditional celebrities to harvest their wears for attention.
Rihanna looks like some sort of an amine nightmare with darker than normal skin and more curves than usual. It’s as if Lena Dunham drew amine.
Cara Delevingne’s once thriving acting and modelling career is reaching the desperation stage.
The model has resorted to stripping off in British GQ to promote her upcoming box office failure, Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets. Badly channelling the iconic Jane Fonda in Barbarella, the bisexual attention seeker flashes her unspectacular boobs and butt in the blandiose magazine spread.
“As a really small child I always wanted to be an actress. And I wanted to be a musician. But going to school with all these incredibly talented people I was like, ‘I have no chance.’ I still did it, because I loved it, but I didn’t ever think I’d do this. That’s why I’m so happy that I modelled. I wouldn’t have made it into acting or music if I hadn’t modelled first.”
Delevingne vapidly fills the lead female role in Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets, which is probably aimlessly directed by Luc Besson and co-stars the least appealing actors in history, Dane DeHaan, Clive Owen, Ethan Hawke and… Rihanna. I think that cast tells you everything you need to know about its chance at box office success this summer.
British GQ’s edition featuring Cara on the cover is on stands now.
She was expected to wow the audience with her typical edgy performance, but Rihanna had to cancel her scheduled Grammy performance at the last minute after coming down with a bout of bronchitis.
Rihanna, 27, is said to have even arrived at the event’s venue the Staple’s Centre, ready to perform after skipping the Red Carpet, but doctors warned her that she could potentially do damage to her voice if she went ahead with the planned performance of “Kiss it Better Twice.”
Rihanna has since tweeted an apology for her absence.